The Mental and Emotional
Tool Kit for Life
To fix anything that's broken, and build something better
This approach is largely based on an evidenced-based form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
developed by the late Dr. Albert Ellis called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT).  I was a health
education teacher for 33 years, and always looking for a way to better help my students.  In the late
'80's, I discovered graduate classes in REBT offered in the Chicago are.  I took 30 hours of those classes,
and became certified in REBE, the educational version of REBT.  I used what I learned to develope the
"TOOL KIT" approach to prevention and wellness.   I taught the "tool kit" to my students for nearly
twenty years, and to thousands more students, teachers and student teachers since retiring from the
classroom in 2007. (
Speaking dates, references).  For the past two years, I've also volunteered to run
successful "TOOL TIME" groups based on the "TOOL KIT" approach for some of the most troubled and
troublesome students in a local high school.  The "TOOL KIT" Is an educational self-help approach to the
many problems in the lives of individuals, families, and schools.  Education can be very therapeutic.  
Teaching it to others also made me a healthier person, and better teacher, husband and father.
The "TOOL KIT" can be a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cure for all those academic,
emotional and social problems and issues that young people so often struggle with, in and outside the
classroom, now and later in life.  It can be a "shot in the arm" for those already struggling with such
issues.  The "TOOL KIT" can also help teachers be more effective and make less mistakes with
students, especially the most troubled and troublesome ones we can least afford to make mistakes
with.  It can do the same for parents.  A number of the "Tools" can act like a form of "Mental and
Emotional Karate" against bullying and other types of abuse - they can be an "inside out" approach to
such problems that compliments the "outside in" approaches usually taken.  They can give anyone the
"Mental and Emotional Fitness" needed to function at levels they are capable of, and want to, and to
feel the way they want to feel, and have the kind of life they've always wanted to have.  The "TOOLS"
are unfortunately usually missing from most wellness programs.  
The "TOOLS" are ten life skills, and a variety of formulas, sayings, diagrams, strategies and new ways
of looking at things that allow someone to develop these life skills. The goal of teaching these "TOOLS"
to people is to help them get into the best cognitive and emotional place to free them to make the best
behavioral and lifestyle choices for themselves and others.  The key to how people feel and what they
do is what they choose to think about themselves, others, life, and what happens to them.  Thoughts
cause feelings, not events, and attitude is always the father of behavior.
                                      The Ten Tools
To learn about why each TOOL is important, and and a little about what each TOOL entails, and how to
teach it, click on the desired TOOL in the list below.

1)   To understand and appreciate the role emotion plays in everyday life
2)   To have Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) and Unconditional Other Accepatnce (UOA)
3)   To have an Internal Locus of Control
4)   To recognize irrational thinking in yourself and others
5)   To know how to correct irrational thinking
6)   To have a step-by-step approach to potentially troubling life events
7)   To assert yourself with I-Messages
8)   To recognize when you and others have Mistaken Goals
9)   To evaluate your own and others thoughts, feelings and action
10) To understand why change is hard, and what it takes to change
                         E-books about the "Tool Kit"
                     available at and other online book outlets
The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit  $3.99  
(click on image to link to
At times, we all have more emotion than we'd like to have. It often causes us to
make mistakes with other people. For some, it gives purpose to unhealthy,
self-defeating behavior that they struggle to stop engaging in. Generating emotion
is part of being human, but it's not some inevitable product of what happens to us.
We can learn to generate less emotion. This book will show you how to.
Mental and Emotional Karate  $3.99  
(click on image to link to
No one can hurt our feelings. That's semantic and scientific nonsense. The truth is
that it's what we choose to think about others and what they say or do that really
determines how we feel, be it hurt or anything else. I will teach you how to use the
power of choice to earn the equivalent of a black belt in Mental and Emotional
Karate and stop being a victim of others comments or actions.
The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Teachers and Parents  $3.99
(click on image to link to
Parenting and teaching can be tough. It's easy to generate more emotion than is
helpful and make mistakes, especially with the most troubled and troublesome
young people. This book was written by a health education teacher who became
certified in cognitive behavioral therapy to better understand and help students,
and ended up helping himself in the process. He can help you do all three things.
A Quick Emotional Tune Up
$1.99  (click on image to link to Smashwords. com)
Most people don't really understand exactly why they feel bad, and because of
that, don't realize just how easy it can be to feel better. This book is intended to do
exactly what it says, give you a quick way to tune yourself up emotionally so that
your life can run smoother. There are 8 simple steps you can take to start feeling a
whole lot better quickly. They are steps anyone can take.
Most people live their lives based on a big lie, and don't realize it. That lie is that
what other people say and do, and what happens makes them feel the way they
do. Believing that lie causes people to feel worse than they need to, and to miss
many opportunities to feel better. Learn the truth about how feelings come about,
the choices you really have, and how to use those to feel better.
Stress and Anxiety - How to permanently reduce them in your
life  $2.99
 (click on image to link to
There are a lot of books about how to manage stress better. The strategies other
books give do help lower stress. However, they are often what therapists call
"band aids" that only give temporary relief, and only while you're doing them.
There's a difference between temporarily feeling better, and getting better.
Getting better means permanently reducing stress. This book shows you how.
            It's Just an Event
It's your choice how you want to feel
Click on image to link to
Click on image to link to
So much that goes wrong in the lives of individuals, families, schools
and society is caused by people generating more emotion than is
necessary or helpful in response to their life events, and what they do
because of it, or to deal with it. That is why emotional management is
the most important life skill. Many self-help books give wonderful
advice and information and even teach helpful skills. However,
someone has to be in the right cognitive and emotional place to
access and act on that advice, and to perform such skills. Most
self-help books neglect to teach people how to get there. This book
teaches truly effective emotional management by teaching people
how to develop an internal locus of control, to recognize and correct
irrational thinking, and to have unconditional self and other
acceptance. It also teaches a step-by-step approach that can be taken
to any troublesome life situations.
                                      Presentations, Workshops
                                            (50 Minute, 2-3 hour, half or full day)

A Mental and Emotional Tool Kit                                               Troubleshooting with Troubled Students
For teachers, student teachers, students                                 to make less mistakes, have more success
A Mental and Emotional Vaccination                                        "Tool Time" Workshops / Groups
against mental health, health and social problems                 for troubled and troublesome students
Mental and Emotional Karate                                                     A Mental and Emotional Tune-up
against bullying and other social problems                              for people of all ages
Mental and Emotional Fitness
to achieve more academically and athletically                         REFERENCES
Ray Mathis (LinkedIn profile)                                          Contact Information

B.S. Health Education  M.A. Education                                
Taught health education for 33 years                                  
30 post graduate hours in REBT                                                     815-344-6115
Primary certification in REBT and REBE                                       815-353-5312 cell
75 hours past Masters
Represents the Chicago Institute for REBT
Motivational-Educational Speaker
"Tool Time" group facilitator
Adjunct Professor - International Renewal Institute

State and National Award Winning Nature Photographer  (

No One Upsets You, You Upset Yourself.  It's Your Choice
How You Want to Feel  $1.99
 (click on image to link to