Why it's important to                  Recognize Irrational Thinking Long ago, Dr. Albert Ellis identified four basic types of irrational beliefs that human beings are prone to. By irrational, we mean that by thinking those ways they make their lives worse instead of better.  They generate a dsyfunctional amout of emotion and then often say and do things because of it, or to deal with it that makes their lives worse. The four types of irrational beliefs he identified were:                             1) Demands        3) Can't Stand It-itis                                     2) Awfulizing      4) Label and Damning
			Can't Stand It-itis Rule #5   We have a right to like or dislike whatever we want to.   But when we say we can't stand something, we're lying to ourselves and that part of our brain that generates emotion.  If we truly couldn't stand something, we'd die or go crazy.   Obviously, if everyone died or went crazy when they said they couldn't stand something they simply didn't like, we'd have streets and hallways littered with dead bodies or crazy people.  The truth is, we can stand what happens, we just don't like it, and that's okay. The reason Dr. Ellis used the suffix -ITIS is that by continually telling ourselves that we CAN'T STAND something we simply don't like, we INFLAME ourselves unnecessarily.   LFT, or Low Frustration Tolerance, which was mentioned earlier as a reason why people don't do things that might be good for them, is largely a product of saying "I can't stand doing that".  It's also a product of demanding that whatever you do be easy, fun or something you agree with, like or see the point to.  Last, it's a product of saying that doing something you don't like, agree with or see the point to, or that you perceive as uncomfortable, inconvenient, or unpleasant would be awful.  Dr Ellis called this type of thinking "Whining"
					Label and Damning We have the right to dislike what someone else says or does, but we often make the mistake of blatantly overgeneralizing from their behavior to making judgments about them as a person.  We condemn the DOER instead of simply condemning the DEED. Doing one, or even multiple stupid things, does not logically make someone a stupid person.  Otherwise smart people can do stupid things.  Label and Damning someone or yourself is like calling an apple BAD because it has a bruise, despite the fact that 95% of the apple is still perfectly edible.    Label and Damning is the fourth way we unnecessarily inflame ourselves and it makes it harder to get along, to find common ground and resolve conflicts and differences.

Rule #1   We all have the right to want whatever we want

That's true even if it's not good for us or something others might not agree with.  That's
our right as human beings.  However, human beings have a tendency to:

                        1) Start to think they NEED something they simply WANT
                        2) Treat their simple PREFERENCES as NECESSITIES     
                        3) DEMAND what they simply DESIRE                               

There is a simple but important reason why these tendencies become so important in
everyday life:

Rule #2   The bigger the difference between your expectations and reality, the   
                more emotion you'll generate  

For example, if you simply want, prefer or desire something and don't get it, you'll be
frustrated, disappointed or annoyed.  However, if you start to think you need it, it's a
necessity and you HAVE to or MUST have it, and start to demand it, and then don't get it,
you'll generate anger.

The feeling you end up with depends on whether you make demands of others, yourself
or life.  If you make demands of others and they don't get met, you'll generate anger.  
Your basic demand is that "Everyone must do what I want, and be the way I want them to
be".  Dr. Ellis called anger a temper tantrum because someone sounds like a 2 or 3 year
old when they take that position.  

If you make demands of yourself before an event, like a test, game or interview, you'll
generate anxiety.  If you make demands of yourself after an event, you generate shame
and guilt.  Your basic demand is that "I must be perfect and do everything perfectly all the
time".  When people make demands of themselves or others they often use the verbs
"should" and "shouldn't" to construct their thoughts and sentences.  That's why we
jokingly say they're "shoulding" on themselves or "shoulding" on others when they do.  

If you're alone, and tell yourself that you should be with someone and you're not, that you
should have more friends, or a boyfriend or girlfriend and don't, or any number of others
such things, you can end up feeling lonely.  

If you make demands of life, and they're not met, you can end up feeling depressed,
anxious or bored.  Your basic demand is that "Life shouldn't and can't be the way it is.  It
should or has to be easier, more comfortable and pleasant, or more fun and exciting than
it is.  Everything has to turn out the way I want it to"

Irrational demands often come in the form of a question.  For example, "How DARE they
do that?" or "How COULD they do something like that?"  You're basically saying they
shouldn't, CAN'T or MUST NOT do something, or implying that they should, HAVE TO, or
MUST do something else instead.

Rule #3   When people go from simply wanting, preferring or desiring something
                to thinking they need it, it's a necessity and demanding it, it can make
                otherwise smart people do stupid things.  

The reason is simple.  If you were suffocating and needed air, what would you be willing
to do to get it?  Anything. Now suppose someone not only wanted someone's love, but
started thinking they needed it, what would they be willing to do to get it, or keep it?  
Same thing.  Anything.  And that's what can make otherwise smart people do stupid
things.

Rule #4   Behavior intended to satisfy a perceived need will win out over behavior
                intended to satisfy a rational preference

For example, someone might WANT to quit smoking (a rational preference) but they think
they NEED to have a cigarette, and CAN'T go a whole day without one (perceived need).  
What are their chances of quitting?

                                           Awfulizing

There are three ways to look at something that happens.  To not care.  To think it's
unpleasant, inconvenient or uncomfortable.  Or, to think it's really AWFUL as in the end
of the world, life's not worth living anymore type AWFUL.

There's an old saying that accurately describes what we do when we AWFULIZE.  We
"make mountains out of molehills".  Paradoxically, the easier life becomes, the more likely
we are to AWFULIZE, exaggerate how bad something is, and "make a mountain out of a
molehill".