Why Unconditional Self-Acceptance                            Is So Important When we believe we haven't lived up to our own expectations or others, we feel shame.   Shame is an important feeling to discuss for a number of reasons.  As Dr. Albert Ellis always said, "Shame blocks change".       1)  It keeps people from taking an objective look at what they think, feel, say or do.           2)  It makes them want to hide what they think, feel, say and do       3)  It makes people want to deny that anything is wrong       4)  It makes people less likely to avail themselves of help that is available       5)  It's the reason why people use alcohol and drugs in the first place       6)  It gives them more reason to use alcohol and drugs in they become addicted       7)  It can cause some to become self-destructive and attempt suicide   Low self-esteem is often cited as the cause of much unhealthy, self-defeating behavior.   What people call low self-esteem is really       1)  Shame about past and current performances or behavior       2)  Intense anxiety about future ones because of the past How we view a problem often dictates how we try to solve it.  Too often, we try to make someone feel better about themselves.  Unfortunately, for reasons that will be discussed on subsequent pages, we technically can't do that. The best way to combat shame, and low self-esteem, is to teach people to have Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA).  You do that by encouraging them to believe that:          1)  Anything they think, feel, say or do, have in the past, or might in the future, is            perfectly understandable.         2)  That doesn't mean it was helpful, healthy or acceptable to others       3)  It just means that they'll never be the first person in human history to think, feel,               say or do something       4)  They'll never be the last either       5)  It's part of being human to do so         6)  They've got a lot of company         7)  We could all have thought, felt, said and done things better at times in our lives,                but no one's perfect       8)  Given our unique personal history, we all did the best we could under the            circumstance at the time.         9)  We're all Fallible Human Beings (FHBs) who at times think, feel, say and do                        things that make our lives worse instead of better      10) Therefore, it's nothing to be ashamed of
	Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA) comes from looking at what other people think, feel, say or do the same way.  Having UOA is the essence of tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness.