The Problem We Face We know more than ever before in human history about how to prevent disease and other problems, and to live longer, healthier, happier and more productive lives.  People receive more helpful advice and information than ever before, in ever more clever and effective ways.  Yet we still have way too many people starting and continuing to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating, and even self-destructive ways.  Many continue to behave in such ways even after suffering because of it, or causing others to.  There are also too many who don't do everything they could to be healthier or make their lives better, even when they know better.  We have too many who still die prematurely or cause others to because of what they do, or don't do.  Some of the problems that such behavior create, like obesity in children and adults, are actually becoming more prevalent than ever. Other problems, like suicide for example, can have the highest prevalence rates in the brightest and most successful among us. We also know more than ever before about how students best learn, and how to teach them, and to accommodate those with learning disabilities.  Yet we still have way too many students functioning at levels well below what they are capable of, and than we or they would like.  We also have way too many students dropping out. We've had a "War on Drugs" and tobacco, and have been telling kids to "Just say NO" for decades, but we still have way too many young people starting and continuing to smoke, drink or use drugs, and hurting or killing themselves and others because of it. We've had both abstinence-only and comprehensive sex education for many decades, and condoms and birth control of many types are available to everyone, yet we still have way too many unplanned pregnancies and new cases of sexually transmitted infections in both young and old.   Many of those pregnancies result in abortions, and abortions have been an issue that has split this country in half for way too long. If we keep doing what we've always done, we'll keep getting what we've always gotten.  That's okay when what we are doing is working, and a lot of what we do does.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.   However, where things are not as good as they could be or we'd like, we might want to do something different, and people like Dr. Albert Ellis have already shown us what we could do.  We need to first identify and target the real underlying causes of so much that goes wrong in the lives of individuals, in families, in schools, and our society as a whole.

                                      The Causes

People start and continue to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating, and even self- destructive ways
because it serves a purpose.  Behavior of any kind is always goal- orientated.  Ideally, all our
energy and effort would go toward reaching those goals we all have like living longer, healthier and
happier lives, having good relationships with others, being successful at whatever we do, and
having more control over our own destiny.  But no one does that perfectly, or all the time.  
Unfortunately, people often have "mistaken" goals that  get them off course.  A very common
mistaken goal is to try to temporarily withdraw from, or avoid unpleasant life events and get relief
from the emotions that often go with them.  So many unhealthy, self-defeating and even self-
destructive behaviors are peoples best attempts to do exactly that.
          
A large part of what gives rise to such "mistaken" goals, and purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating,
and self-destructive behavior is that people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion in the form
of anger, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, loneliness and even boredom.  By dysfunctional I mean
1) more than they know what to do with, 2) more than is healthy for them, 3) more than in
necessary or helpful to the life situations they find themselves in, and 4) a frequency, intensity and
duration of such emotions that works against them instead of for them.  They generate a
dysfunctional amount of emotion not because of what happens, but because of what they think
about what does; because of what are called automatic irrational beliefs they have about
themselves, others and life, and generate in response to their life events.  Attitude is always the
father of behavior.

If you analyze all the problems individuals, families, schools and society must deal with, you'll find
that most, if not all of them are either defined by, or caused, directly or indirectly, by one or more
persons generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion, and what they do because of that, or to
deal with it.  This in turn can be traced back to a pattern of irrational thinking identified by Dr.
Albert Ellis long ago.  

People often don't do everything they could to make their health and lives better because they
generate LFT, or Low Frustration Tolerance for doing things they dislike and/or that they perceive
as uncomfortable, inconvenient or unpleasant, despite the benefits those things might offer them.  
Once again, this is a product of what they think about those things, and not the things themselves.

Students have to be in the right cognitive and emotional place to be ready, willing and able to learn
and function at the level they are capable of.  When students generate too much emotion it can
impair their readiness, willingness and ability to learn, and sabotage their performance.  It can give
purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behavior that only impairs such things even further.

Students often have to deal with events outside of school that they understandably generate a
dysfunctional amount of all kinds of emotion in response to.  Some deal with such events extremely
well naturally.  Many do not.  

Anger can cause students to provoke unnecessary power struggles and rebel against rules and
authority.  Angry students often disrupt classes in a misguided attempt to get back at teachers and
refuse to do work or smoke, drink, use drugs and get into trouble to get back at parents.  They do
things that result in disciplinary actions, which only interfere with their education even further.  
Anger can cause students to become violent, to bully, or to vandalize.  It can be a precursor for
depression, which itself can impair a student’s readiness, willingness and ability to learn, and set
the stage for engaging in unhealthy and even self-destructive behavior.  

Students who have a history of not living up to others expectations in and out of school often
generate shame that makes them reluctant to ask for help that is available to them,  Shame can
give purpose to using and abusing alcohol and drugs.  Shame, along with depression, can cause
students to become self-destructive and even attempt suicide.

Past struggles with schoolwork can cause students to generate intense anxiety when asked to do
new tasks, and to try to avoid future failure in any way possible.  Even students who have been
successful can generate so much anxiety that it sabotages their performance on tests.  Anxiety is a
another common reason for students starting and continuing to smoke, drink, and use drugs.

                                    

                                              The Solution

That's why emotional management is considered the first and most important of seven life skills
people must master to be as functional as they can be.  Teaching young people four simple but
important cognitive life skills can give them truly effective emotional management

We do little if anything in education to really teach students to have truly effective emotional
management, despite the important role a lack of it plays in so much that goes wrong in the lives
of individuals, and in families, schools and society.  We do little if anything to teach them to
recognize or correct the irrational thinking that causes them and others to generate a
dysfunctional amount of emotion and behave irrationally.

Starting to teach students to have truly effective emotional management wouldn't require any new
teachers, classes or funds.  It would be the simplest, quickest, cheapest and most importantly, the
most effective way to really target the underlying cause of so much that goes wrong in and out of
the classroom.

There are many ways to temporarily feel better.  Some are healthy, many are not.  Students are
sometimes taught some of the common healthy ways to temporarily make themselves feel better
(i.e. Yoga, meditation, relaxation, biofeedback) or encouraged to vent.  However, there's a
difference between temporarily feeling better and getting better.  Getting better means to reduce
the overall frequency, intensity and duration of emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, etc.  The
only way to GET better is for someone to change the way they think.